3 Ways to Help Kids Deal With Grief and Loss

3 Ways to Help Kids Deal With Grief and Loss

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After the death of a close family member or friend, children may go from being sad to playing with other kids the next minute. Their changing moods don’t mean that they’ve finished grieving or aren’t sad; after all, kids grieve differently. Playing with their siblings or friends is a defense mechanism that prevents them from being overwhelmed.

Small kids below 5 years old rarely understand what has happened; they can even ask when the deceased will return. They may start showing various regressive behaviors, such as wetting their beds. The ones aged between 6 and 11 years who understand death will show grief through physical pain and anger. However, they will start wondering when their other loved ones will pass away. Here are some key ways to help these kids deal with grief and loss.

Encourage the Kids to Express Their Feelings

Young kids don’t understand death, so you should be ready to help them express their emotions. You can start by helping them understand death using kid’s books that talk about death. These books will help you start the conversation. Remember, most kids don’t know how to express their emotions in words, so you can use various outlets like photo albums, scrapbooks, and drawing pictures.

Once they understand what has happened, you should be ready for any kind of reaction. Most kids may start crying, while others will start asking questions. However, the ones who don’t know how to express their emotions won’t react. You should stay with them and hug them. Try to answer every question they ask calmly.

If you see them in tears or sad, ask them what they feel or think about. Make sure they understand that it’s right to be sad and that the deceased loved them. You can also label your feelings to make it easier for the kids to understand what’s happening.

Tell Them What to Expect After The Burial

If the deceased family member played a huge role in the kids’ lives, then you should expect their lives and routines to change. You should prepare them for the outcome of the incident. If the deceased individual used to drop or pick them up from school on certain days, you should tell them who will do it. If they have to relocate and go live with their aunt or grandparents, you should inform them and assure them you’ll be there for them.

Explain the Events That Will Happen to Them

Since they will attend the memorial service, funeral, and viewing, you should tell them what to expect. Explain to them that they shouldn’t be scared of strangers who will be there to offer their condolences. Most of these people will say they’re sorry and even hug them, so they should not be scared or rude. Instead, when scared, you can ask them to look for you and even hold your hand if necessary.

If the deceased family member didn’t want to be buried, you should explain how direct cremation works. If they have been to a funeral that involved the deceased being buried, you should tell them the difference between the two. Make sure they understand that it was the deceased choice and the family can’t change their wishes.

Endnote

Kids find great comfort in their daily routines, so you should ensure they stick to them. While helping them with grief, you should try to keep their lives normal. When you’re away, you can ask a friend or family member to try to keep their lives as normal as possible. This will help them understand that life will go on after the burial.