300 Of The Best Jokes for Kids

Kid-Friendly Puns and Jokes To Brighten Your Day

There’s nothing better for your well-being than laughter! enjoy over 300 educational Puns and jokes for kids. I do apologise for some of these written by my kids – so make sense in their heads. But they are primary school kids, so they may better understand what kids at school find amusing than I do.

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Education Puns and Jokes For Kids & Teachers

• A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
• I used to hate maths but then I realised decimals have a point.
• The English Teacher felt odd after being fired: it was post-grammatic stress disorder.
• The arrogant maths teacher finally ate a slice of humble pi.
• The arrogant computing teacher finally ate a slice of raspberry Pi (that worked better in my head)

• Geology class is the bedrock of a decent education.
• The geography teacher discovered that her knowledge of earthquakes was a bit shaky.
• The roundest knight at King Arthur’s Round Table was Sir Cumference.
• A rubber band was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
• The PE teacher wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit him.
• At least the gossipers in the staff room have a sense of rumor
• When it’s alphabet soup on the lunch menu, it could spell disaster.

Jokes For Kids – Primary and Secondary School

Animal Jokes

1. Why don’t lions use smartphones? Because they prefer using their roar-ing plan!
2. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot!
3. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
4. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
5. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
6. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the giraffe was happy because he could see all the answers!
7. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
8. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re scared of the mouse!
9. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!” But the snail said, “I’ll get there eventually.”
10. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
11. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porkupine!
12. Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s too far to walk!
13. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
14. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
15. What do you call a chicken that counts her eggs? A mathemachicken!
16. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
17. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
18. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they’re flying? They’d quack up!
19. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
20. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!

Food Jokes

21. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
22. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
23. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack up.
24. What did the grape do when it got stepped on? It let out a little wine!
25. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the peanut butter was happy because it could spread joy!
26. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
27. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby.
28. What do you call bread that’s been in the sun too long? A toast!
29. Why don’t bananas go to school? Because they might peel out!
30. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Dinner’s on me!”
31. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire? Frostbite!
32. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!
33. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
34. Why do we invite eggs to the party? Because they’re good at breaking the ice!
35. What did the lettuce say to the celery? “Quit stalking me!”
36. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
37. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
38. Why don’t you ever fight with an egg? They always crack under pressure.
39. What do you call a fake potato? A potato impostor!
40. What do you call a very small vegetable? A baby carrot!

School Jokes

41. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems!
42. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? “You’re looking sharp today!”
43. Why did the student take a ladder to school? Because he wanted to go to high school!
44. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire? Lots of blood tests!
45. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they might be up to something!
46. What do you call a bear with no homework? A panda!
47. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the history book was thrilled because it had all the answers!
48. What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
49. Why did the computer go to art school? Because it wanted to learn how to draw a better byte!
50. What did the pencil say to the paper? “I dot my i’s on you!”

Food Jokes (Continued)

51. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the kitchen? Too many forks!
52. What do you call bread that’s been in the sun too long? Sun-dried toast!
53. Why did the bread get a job? Because it needed the dough!
54. What do you call a sad cupcake? A muffin!
55. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the chocolate was happy because it was sweet!
56. What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
57. Why did the cookie cry? Because its mom was a wafer so long!
58. What did one slice of bread say to another after a scare? “You’re toast!”
59. Why do hamburgers go to the gym? To get better buns!
60. What did the pancake say to the syrup? “Don’t get stuck on me!”
61. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
62. What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!
63. Why don’t eggs tell jokes? They’d crack up.
64. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? Frosty rolls!
65. Why was the cucumber mad? Because it was in a pickle!
66. What do you call an old snowman? Water!
67. Why do we invite eggs to the party? Because they’re good at breaking the ice!
68. What did the lettuce say to the celery? “Quit stalking me!”
69. Why did the orange stop in the middle of the road? It ran out of juice!
70. What do you call a sad strawberry? A blueberry!
71. Why don’t you ever fight with an egg? They always crack under pressure.
72. What do you call a fake potato? A potato impostor!
73. What do you call a very small vegetable? A baby carrot!
74. Why didn’t the bread rise? Because it loafed around!
75. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
76. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the kitchen? Because they might get caught in a whisk!
77. What do you call a sleeping pizza? A piZZZZa!
78. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the doughnut was happy because it had a hole lot of fun!
79. What did one plate say to the other plate? “Dinner’s on me!”
80. Why did the cookie go to the doctor? Because it felt crumby.

School Jokes (Continued)

81. Why did the student bring a ruler to bed? To see how long he slept!
82. What do you call a bear with no homework? A panda!
83. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the history book was thrilled because it had all the answers!
84. What did the zero say to the eight? “Nice belt!”
85. Why did the computer go to art school? Because it wanted to learn how to draw a better byte!
86. What did the pencil say to the paper? “I dot my i’s on you!”
87. Why don’t scientists trust atoms? Because they might be up to something!
88. What do you get when you cross a teacher with a vampire? Lots of blood tests!
89. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the geography book was happy because it knew where it was going!
90. What did one book say to the other book? “I just wanted to see if we’re on the same page!”
91. Why don’t you play hide and seek with a teacher? Because they always know where you are!
92. What do you call a student who doesn’t do homework? A pencil with no lead!
93. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the English book was happy because it had all the stories!
94. What do you call an educated tube? A smart pipe!
95. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses? Because her students were so bright!
96. What do you call a fake test? A test-tube!
97. Why did the student eat his homework? Because the teacher said it was a piece of cake!
98. Why was the ruler sad? Because it was only 12 inches long!
99. What do you call a bear with no homework? A panda!
100. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the library? Too many shushes!

Animal Jokes (Continued)

101. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot!
102. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
103. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
104. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
105. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the giraffe was happy because he could see all the answers!
106. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
107. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re scared of the mouse!
108. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!” But the snail said, “I’ll get there eventually.”
109. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
110. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porkupine!
111. Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s too far to walk!
112. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
113. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
114. What do you call a chicken that counts her eggs? A mathemachicken!
115. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
116. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
117. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they’re flying? They’d quack up!
118. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
119. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!
120. What do you call a cat that loves to swim? A purr-maid!
121. Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? Because he wanted a well-balanced meal!
122. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear!
123. Why don’t giraffes do well at hide and seek? Because they’re always sticking their necks out!
124. What do you call a bear with no shoes? Barefoot!
125. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the koala was happy because he had all the eucalyptus!
126. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
127. What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A python!
128. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the zoo? Too many monkeys!
129. What do you call a bear with no hat? A bear-head!
130. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!
131. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
132. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
133. What do you call a chicken that counts her eggs? A mathemachicken!
134. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
135. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
136. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they’re flying? They’d quack up!
137. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
138. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!
139. What do you call a cat that loves to swim? A purr-maid!
140. Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? Because he wanted a well-balanced meal!

Sport Jokes

141. Why do basketball players carry snacks? In case they get a jump shot!
142. What do you call a football player with a broken leg? A tackle box!
143. Why was the tennis player such a bad roommate? He kept serving his own needs!
144. Why did the soccer player take his pillow to the game? So he could have a good kick-off!
145. What do you call an athletic vegetable? A squash!
146. Why don’t baseball players join bands? Because they can’t hit the right note, only the ball!
147. What do you call a snowman who plays hockey? A goalie!
148. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
149. What sport do you play with a wombat? Wombat-tle!
150. Why do swimmers do well at school? Because they’re always on the swim team!

Time Jokes

151. Why was the clock in the dentist’s office? Because it needed a tooth-hour!
152. What did the big hand say to the little hand? “See you in a minute!”
153. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs, and the clock can’t keep up!
154. What did one hour say to the other hour? “Don’t be late!”
155. Why did the clock go to school? To learn how to tell time!
156. What do you call a clock that’s hungry? A second-hand snack!
157. Why did the minute hand hit the hour hand? It was time for a break!
158. What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
159. Why don’t clocks make good pets? They run all the time!
160. What did one second say to the other second? “Let’s take a moment.”

Space Jokes

161. Why don’t aliens visit Earth anymore? They read our reviews: one star.
162. What do you call a spaceship that’s full of cats? A purr-ocket!
163. Why didn’t the astronaut start a band? Because he had no rhythm in space!
164. What do you call an alien with three eyes? An aliiien!
165. What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes!
166. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
167. What do astronauts do when they get angry? They blast off!
168. Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full!
169. What do you call a tick on the moon? A luna-tick!
170. Why don’t astronauts get lost in space? They always follow the star-trail!

General Jokes

171. Why was the broom late? It swept in!
172. What do you call a fake stone? A sham-rock!
173. Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? They always peak!
174. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
175. Why was the sand wet? Because the sea-weed!
176. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
177. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants!
178. What did the big flower say to the little one? “You’re growing on me!”
179. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the park? Too many nuts!
180. Why did the scarecrow become a professional comedian? Because he was outstanding in his field!
181. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
182. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
183. What do you call a bear with no hair? A bald bear!
184. Why was the math teacher sad? Because he had too many problems, but the art teacher was happy because she colored outside the lines!
185. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? Frosty rolls!
186. Why don’t phones use beds? They sleep on the charger!
187. What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock!
188. Why don’t eggs use computers? Too afraid of getting scrambled!
189. What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
190. Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? They always peak!
191. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had too many problems, but the music book was happy because it had all the notes!
192. What do you call a bear with no shoes? A bare foot!
193. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open!
194. What do you call a fake candle? A scam-dle!
195. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the garden? Too many weeds!
196. What do you call an alligator that sneaks up on you? A croc-odile!
197. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the science book was happy because it had all the answers!
198. What did the hat say to the scarf? “You hang around, I’ll go ahead!”
199. Why don’t you ever fight with a broom? Because it sweeps away the trouble!
200. What do you call a fake volcano? An eruption of lies!

More Animal Jokes

201. What do you call a bear with no socks on? Barefoot!
202. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don’t work!
203. What do you call a sleeping bull? A bulldozer!
204. What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? A woolly jumper!
205. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the giraffe was happy because he could see all the answers!
206. What do you call an alligator in a vest? An investi-gator!
207. Why don’t elephants use computers? They’re scared of the mouse!
208. What did one wall say to the other wall? “I’ll meet you at the corner!” But the snail said, “I’ll get there eventually.”
209. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
210. What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A porkupine!
211. Why do birds fly south for the winter? It’s too far to walk!
212. What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!
213. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the jungle? Too many cheetahs!
214. What do you call a chicken that counts her eggs? A mathemachicken!
215. Why was the cat sitting on the computer? He wanted to keep an eye on the mouse!
216. What do you call a sleeping dinosaur? A dino-snore!
217. Why don’t ducks tell jokes when they’re flying? They’d quack up!
218. What do you call a bear with no ears? B!
219. Why did the police arrest the turkey? They suspected it of fowl play!
220. What do you call a cat that loves to swim? A purr-maid!
221. Why did the lion eat the tightrope walker? Because he wanted a well-balanced meal!
222. What do you call a bear that’s stuck in the rain? A drizzly bear!
223. Why don’t giraffes do well at hide and seek? Because they’re always sticking their necks out!
224. What do you call a bear with no shoes? Barefoot!
225. Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems, but the koala was happy because he had all the eucalyptus!
226. What do you call a dog that can do magic? A labracadabrador!
227. What do you get when you cross a snake with a pie? A python!
228. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the zoo? Too many monkeys!
229. What do you call a bear with no hat? A bear-head!
230. Why do birds fly south for the winter? Because it’s too far to walk!

School, teaching and Sport Jokes for Kids

231. Why do basketball players carry snacks? In case they get a jump shot!
232. What do you call a football player with a broken leg? A tackle box!
233. Why was the tennis player such a bad roommate? He kept serving his own needs!
234. Why did the soccer player take his pillow to the game? So he could have a good kick-off!
235. What do you call an athletic vegetable? A squash!
236. Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!
237. Why did the math book look sad? Because it had too many problems!
238. Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the classroom? Because the students were reaching new heights!
239. Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field!
240. What do you call a teacher who never frowns? A ruler!
241. Why was the English teacher always cold? Because they had too many drafts!
242. Why did the teacher wear sunglasses to school? Because her students were so bright!
243. What did one pencil say to the other pencil? “You’re looking sharp!”
244. Why did the teacher go to the beach? To test the waters!
245. What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire? Lots of blood tests!
246. Why was the math book sad after summer break? It had too many exes
247. Why did the music teacher go to jail? Because he got caught in treble!
248. What do you call a teacher who never passes gas in public? A private tutor!
249. What did the teacher say to the pencil case? “You’ve got a lot of potential!”
250. Why did the teacher bring a ladder to the art class? Because they wanted to help the students draw outside the lines!

Space Jokes of Kids

251. What do you call a spaceship that’s full of cats? A purr-ocket!
252. Why didn’t the astronaut start a band? Because he had no rhythm in space!
253. What do you call an alien with three eyes? An aliiien!
254. Why don’t aliens visit Earth anymore? They read our reviews: one star.
255. What kind of music do planets like? Neptunes!
256. How do you organize a space party? You planet!
257. What do astronauts do when they get angry? They blast off!
258. Why did the moon skip dinner? Because it was full!
259. What do you call a tick on the moon? A luna-tick!
260. Why don’t astronauts get lost in space? They always follow the star-trail!

General Jokes

261. Why was the broom late? It swept in!
262. What do you call a fake stone? A sham-rock!
263. Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? They always peak!
264. What do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back? A stick!
265. Why was the sand wet? Because the seaweed!
266. What did one hat say to the other? “You stay here, I’ll go on ahead!”
267. Why was the belt arrested? For holding up pants!
268. What did the big flower say to the little one? “You’re growing on me!”
269. Why don’t some couples go on a date in the park? Too many nuts!
270. Why did the scarecrow become a professional comedian? Because he was outstanding in his field!
271. What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus!
272. Why did the computer go to the doctor? Because it had a virus!
273. What do you call a bear with no hair? A bald bear!
274. Why was the math teacher sad? Because he had too many problems, but the art teacher was happy because she coloured outside the lines!
275. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a baker? Frosty rolls!
276. Why don’t phones use beds? They sleep on the charger!
277. What do you call a fake Irish stone? A sham-rock!
278. Why don’t eggs use computers? Too afraid of getting scrambled!
279. What did one wall say to the other? “I’ll meet you at the corner!”
280. Why don’t you play hide and seek with mountains? They always peak!

Sport Jokes

281. Why do basketball players carry snacks? In case they get a jump shot!
282. What do you call a football player with a broken leg? A tackle box!
283. Why was the tennis player such a bad roommate? He kept serving his own needs!
284. Why did the soccer player take his pillow to the game? So he could have a good kick-off!
285. What do you call an athletic vegetable? A squash!
286. Why don’t baseball players join bands? Because they can’t hit the right note, only the ball!
287. What do you call a snowman who plays hockey? A goalie!
288. Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants? In case he got a hole in one!
289. What sport do you play with a wombat? Wombat-tle!
290. Why do swimmers do well at school? Because they’re always on the swim team!

Time Jokes

291. Why was the clock in the dentist’s office? Because it needed a tooth-hour!
292. What did the big hand say to the little hand? “See you in a minute!”
293. Why don’t they play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs, and the clock can’t keep up!
294. What did one hour say to the other hour? “Don’t be late!”
295. Why did the clock go to school? To learn how to tell time!
296. What do you call a clock that’s hungry? A second-hand snack!
297. Why did the minute hand hit the hour hand? It was time for a break!
298. What time do you go to the dentist? Tooth-hurty!
299. Why don’t clocks make good pets? They run all the time!
300. What did one second say to the other second? “Let’s take a moment.”

These clean, light-hearted jokes are perfect for kids, encouraging laughter and learning in a fun way! Do you have anything we could add? Let us know in the comments.

April Fools Images Used from 2020 – That Actually Came True!