The Importance of Solitary Play

Why is Solitary Play Important for Neurodiverse Children?

For many neurodivergent individuals solitary play isn’t merely a preference; it can be a vital, affirming, and deeply enriching experience.

Solitary play, also known as independent play, refers to any form of play or activity an individual engages in alone, without direct interaction or collaboration with others. It’s a self-directed experience where the individual controls the pace, content, and duration of the activity, driven by their own interests and internal motivations.

Key characteristics of solitary play include:

• Independence: The individual is the sole participant and decision-maker in the activity.
• Self-Direction: There is no external guidance or social pressure influencing the play.
• Focus on Internal Experience: The primary satisfaction comes from the activity itself, personal exploration, and the individual’s thoughts and feelings.
• Absence of Direct Social Interaction: Even if others are physically present in the same space, there is no active communication, sharing of rules, or coordinated effort.
• Variety of Activities: Solitary play can encompass a wide range of activities, from quiet contemplation and imaginative play to intricate building, crafting, reading, or engaging with technology (like video games or coding).

Solitary vs. Parallel Play: What’s the Difference?

It is easy to mix these two up. But there is a clear difference. In solitary play, the child is in their own bubble. They are fully focused on their own activity. They might not even notice other kids are in the room. In parallel play, the child plays next to others. Imagine two kids building separate Lego towers at the same table. They aren’t building together, but they are sharing the space. They might mimic each other. Why does this distinction matter? Because parallel play is often a bridge to social interaction. Solitary play is often about regulation and rest. Knowing the difference helps you support the child’s actual need in that moment.

Far from being a sign of social deficit, engaging in self-directed, independent activities offers a unique canvas for self-expression, regulation, and profound personal growth. This article explores the benefits of solitary play through a neurodiversity-affirming lens, championing its value and dismantling misconceptions that often surround it.

What Does Solitary Play Actually Look Like?

Solitary play looks different for everyone. It changes based on age and interest. Here are a few examples of what you might see. For the Builders:

• Lining up cars in a specific color order.
• Constructing complex worlds in Minecraft.
• Stacking cans or blocks to see how high they go. For the Sensory Seekers:
• Playing with water, sand, or slime.
• Spinning coins or wheels to watch the motion.
• Swinging alone on a playground swing. For the Dreamers:
• Reading a book in a quiet corner.
• Drawing or doodling without showing anyone.
• talking to imaginary friends or acting out scenes alone. You know what? None of these are “wasteful.” Every single one is hard work for the brain.

Beyond Group Activities: The Neurodivergent Perspective

From childhood through to adulthood, the emphasis in mainstream society frequently falls on group activities. Playdates, team sports, collaborative projects, these are often held up as the gold standard for development and socialisation. While these avenues certainly hold value, they don’t encompass the full spectrum of human experience, particularly for those whose brains are wired differently.

For many neurodivergent individuals, the social complexities of group interactions can be overwhelming, draining, and even dysregulating. Navigating unspoken social rules, processing multiple sensory inputs, and managing the pressure to conform can transform what should be enjoyable into an exhausting ordeal.

This is where solitary play emerges as a sanctuary. It’s a space free from social performance, where the individual dictates the pace, the rules, and the entire narrative. Imagine a child meticulously arranging their toy cars into an intricate traffic system, absorbed in the patterns and sequences. Or an adult spending hours immersed in a complex jigsaw puzzle, finding satisfaction in the precise alignment of each piece. These aren’t moments of isolation; they are moments of deep engagement, concentration, and self-discovery. Unlock the Potential of Play: Maximising Joy, Learning Outcomes & Play Types.

Self-Regulation: Finding Calm in Independent Play

One of the most significant benefits of solitary play for neurodivergent individuals is its capacity for self-regulation. Many neurodivergent brains experience the world with heightened sensory input, leading to potential overwhelm. Solitary play provides a controlled environment where individuals can manage their sensory input.

Managing Sensory Input

A quiet room, a preferred texture, a repetitive motion – these elements can be precisely chosen to create a calming and grounding experience. Whether it’s the rhythmic clicking of LEGO bricks, the focused gaze on a spinning top, or the soothing repetition of a favourite video game, these activities can act as powerful self-soothing mechanisms. They help to regulate emotions and manage stress, providing a necessary respite from a sometimes overstimulating world.

Deep Focus and Hyper-Focus: A Neurodivergent Superpower

Furthermore, solitary play offers unparalleled opportunities for deep focus and hyper-focus, a characteristic often observed in neurodivergent individuals. In these uninterrupted periods, individuals can immerse themselves fully in an activity, allowing their minds to explore, experiment, and synthesise information without external distractions or social demands.

This intense focus isn’t a deficit; it’s a superpower. It allows for the development of expertise, the honing of specific skills, and the complete absorption in a passion. Think of the intricate details a neurodivergent artist might capture in a solitary drawing, or the complex systems a programmer might design in their own quiet workspace. These achievements are often born from sustained, uninterrupted periods of solitary engagement.

Authentic Self-Expression: Freedom from Social Performance

Beyond regulation and focus, solitary play is a crucial avenue for authentic self-expression. Without the perceived need to perform or conform to social expectations, individuals are free to explore their unique interests, ideas, and creative impulses. There’s no audience to impress, no judgment to fear. This freedom allows for genuine experimentation and the development of a strong sense of self.

Consider how solitary play supports this self-expression:

• Uninhibited Exploration: A child might invent elaborate fantasy worlds with their toys, unburdened by the need to explain them to peers.
• Pure Creation: An adult might write poetry, compose music, or engage in intricate crafts, simply for the sheer joy of creation.
• Personalised Discovery: Individuals can pursue niche interests without external pressure to broaden their scope or adapt to group preferences.

These are acts of pure, unadulterated self-expression, essential for building self-esteem and a strong personal identity.

Why Solitary Play Is Not ‘Anti-Social’

The misconception that solitary play is inherently “lonely” or “anti-social” needs to be challenged. For many neurodivergent people, social interaction can be incredibly draining. Solitary play isn’t an avoidance of connection; it’s often a necessary period of re-energising and processing.

Just as an introvert needs quiet time to recharge after socialising, many neurodivergent individuals benefit immensely from independent activities to regulate their energy and process their experiences. In fact, these periods of solitary engagement can actually enable more positive and meaningful social interactions later on, as individuals approach them from a place of greater regulation and reduced overwhelm.

Creating Supportive Environments

Embracing solitary play means recognising and respecting individual differences in how people engage with the world. It means providing opportunities and spaces for independent activities without imposing expectations for social interaction.

• For parents, this might mean creating a designated “quiet corner” for a child, or simply allowing them the freedom to immerse themselves in their chosen activity without interruption.
• For educators, it means understanding that not all learning needs to be collaborative and that independent work can be just as, if not more, beneficial for some students.

Championing Individual Pathways

Ultimately, a neurodiversity-affirming approach to solitary play celebrates its inherent value. It’s not a compromise or a second-best option; it’s a legitimate and often preferred mode of engagement that contributes significantly to well-being, personal growth, and skill development. The quiet canvas of solitary play is, for many, the perfect space to paint their most authentic and vibrant selves.