Managing our emotions is essential when completing a task that as professionals we are expected to do regardless of external input. I was honoured to be asked to host #behaviourchat on the 23rd May 2016 discussing ways to manage our emotions at work with a particular focus on behaviour. In June 2019 my role changed and I became responsible for supporting students, staff and parents with challenging behaviour. I have always said in posts and in training “I am not an expert” but I do have a lot of experience in this area and through discussion can often find strategies that are effective in reducing incidents of challenging behaviour.
Managing our Emotions during Challenging Behaviour.
I often have the opportunity to train staff teams in other special schools and I love gaining insight into other peoples views and approaches. Twitter provides a fantastic opportunity to engage with and to have input from parents and carers as well. I am going to summarise some of the responses to the questions below around the topic of managing emotions. Everyone who contributed did so from experience and suggested things that have worked for them. One of the benefits of a platform like Twitter is that you can gain insight from settings you yourself have never experienced. Often supporting young people who display challenging behaviour is a very emotional issue, but throughout the chat contributions were respectful of the challenges these children face when interacting in an often confusing world. I truly believe that it is our response that determines the outcome of a situation and through managing our emotions we can positively influence the outcome.
A lot of the answers focussed on the support available from their team and senior leadership.
Following incidents/challenging days what support is available to you?
A1: My principal is really supportive though. Will always meet following a bigger incident + deconstruct and action #behaviourchat
— Joe Baldwin (@JosephBaldwin) May 23, 2016
#behaviourchat A1 supportive honest staff team willing to problem solve to avoid repeat incident. Action planning & identify who does what
— Soo Matthews (@soo_matthews) May 23, 2016
A1 We have learning mentors in KS1 and KS2 to support children and teachers. They manage the nurture provision too #behaviourchat
— Amy Teach (@amyamsams) May 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/reachoutASC/status/734823984882192386
A1 It's important to not immediately relate it to an experience you've had. Listen to what they want to get off their chest #behaviourchat
— Cherryl-kd (@cherrylkd) May 23, 2016
How can we best support colleagues/carers with the impact of challenging behaviour?
#behaviourchat A2 invest time in every staff members well being
— Deputy Teacher (@jamie2034) May 23, 2016
#behaviourchat A2 helping parent carers understand the reasons behind behaviour is key. Providing them with support and strategies helps
— Soo Matthews (@soo_matthews) May 23, 2016
A2 Most important=building/rebuilding relationships and dealing with situations using systems rather than emotions #behaviourchat
— Matt Hickey (@headhighwood) May 23, 2016
#Behaviourchat A2 be honest about what CB is and is not. Proper training in de-escalation and recognising triggers. No blame culture.
— lenabellina #ubuntu (@lenabellina) May 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/hmslatter/status/734826670574718976
https://twitter.com/HilaryNunns/status/734827055053955073
A2 Regular sharing of strategies that have been successful. Behaviour records being used in whole school to record strategies #Behaviourchat
— Amy Teach (@amyamsams) May 23, 2016
A2: Never use the dreaded phrase, "they're fine in my class" when asked for advice or support about challenging behaviour. #behaviourchat
— Paul Hamilton (@_PaulHamilton) May 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/reachoutASC/status/734828347470032896
What strategies do you use to maintain professional judgement/Keep Calm?
#behaviourchat A3 Keeping calm can be as stressful as ‘going with it’, while on the outside we act calm – on the inside we bubble… debrief!
— 💲©️🅰️🏝✝️📍1️⃣ 🦻🏼MCCT (@scatti1) May 23, 2016
https://twitter.com/reachoutASC/status/734829000393117696
#behaviourchat A3 In the grand scheme of things “is the worksheet worth it?” Can you teach the same thing in a more interesting way? Wait?
— 💲©️🅰️🏝✝️📍1️⃣ 🦻🏼MCCT (@scatti1) May 23, 2016
#behaviourchat a3 acknowledge feelings I can see/hear/sense you are ..1 person to give details away from child then hear child or viceversa
— Soo Matthews (@soo_matthews) May 23, 2016
A3: Always remember that dealing with challenging behaviour is an integral part of what a teacher does. #behaviourchat
— Paul Hamilton (@_PaulHamilton) May 23, 2016
Who is the best person to carry out a debriefing?
Check out our post on Debriefing.
A4: a peer in a coaching capacity or SLT depending on severity of incident #behaviourchat
— Joe Baldwin (@JosephBaldwin) May 23, 2016
#behaviourchat A4 debrief, someone the ‘receiver’ feels comfortable with, a shoulder in the first instance. with good recording – all4one
— 💲©️🅰️🏝✝️📍1️⃣ 🦻🏼MCCT (@scatti1) May 23, 2016
A4 IMO people involved in original incident otherwise it damages relationship? Both parties need to know its over. #behaviourchat
— Matt Hickey (@headhighwood) May 23, 2016
How do you rebuild relationships following an incident/challenging situation?
A5 As professionals we are paid to forgive, understand and move on. Students have to learn those skills from us. #behaviourchat
— Andy Calvert (@MrACalvert) May 23, 2016
A5 Celebrate the positives and any achievement to build up confidence and self esteem #behaviourchat
— Amy Teach (@amyamsams) May 23, 2016
#behaviourchat #a5 using non violent communication strategies help express feelings needs and next steps
— Soo Matthews (@soo_matthews) May 23, 2016
A5. Lead by example. Show them each day is a new start/opportunity. Give them positive attention where possible #behaviourchat
— Teacher Progress (@TProgress) May 23, 2016
What is the best advice you have received on unwinding after a challenging day?
Well this is a blog all by itself… click here to read it.
I hope this gives you some ideas on how to manage your emotions during difficult situations.
EXPERT=a person who is very knowledgeable about or skilful in a particular area.
BEHAVIOUR= outcome, symptom or action caused by a stimulus, thought or emotion
I think you’ll find you are probably more of an expert on ‘behaviour’ than you think. For 7 years I was part of the Government’s Behaviour Strategy team and visited 300+ schools – despite the huge high quality research on ‘behaviour’ now available it is an area still far too poorly understood and discussed in depth. Having discovered Twitter less than a year ago, I think the role that you perform in trying to encourage people to share their concerns and suggestions is very helpful, well done Joe.
Thank you so much for your comments. I love the fact that people on twitter are always willing to help and support those looking to improve their practice.